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If you were like most kids, you probably used to suspect your mom was coming up with rules for the express purpose of making your life miserable. Now that you’re grown, hopefully you can understand that she laid down the law for good reason. Of course, Mom’s old restrictions no longer apply to you—or to her. This Mother’s Day, throw out the rulebook and take her on one of these unlawful outings.
Don’t eat with your hands!
Mom was right to teach you proper usage of silverware, as knives and forks are pretty much prerequisite for polite dining in American culture. But as you’ll see at T’s Place (2713 E. Lake St. 612-724-8868), other societies are none the worse for wear after eating with their hands for centuries. The Midtown standby serves up a wide variety of Ethiopian meat and vegetable stews served sans silverware. The only utensil required here is injera, a spongy, pancake-like bread used for scooping up the goodies. If Mom’s in the market for a further broadening of her horizons, T's also boasts a full bar and an occasional eclectic music lineup ranging from world to jazz.
Don’t spoil your
dinner!
Mom’s point is well taken—filling up on empty calories before a meal is
bad form, nutritionally speaking. But savories as sweet as the wares at Just Truffles (1363 Grand Ave. 651-690-0075) make the indulgence well worthwhile. In fact, when Mom
sinks her teeth into exotic offerings like the Pears William (white chocolate
ganache and pear liqueur in dark chocolate) or the Chocolate Malted (malt
powder with whipping cream and milk chocolate), she may opt to skip dinner
altogether.
Don’t hit!
Generally speaking, Mom’s anti-violence edict is sound advice, but the folks at Feminist Eclectic Martial Arts (3010 Minnehaha Ave. 612-729-7233) aren’t in the business of senseless pummeling. The emphasis here is on fitness and self-defense. Several classes, including tai chi and laido sword-handling, are open to anyone age 13 and up, while instruction in the ancient art of Wu Chien Pai (which translates to “spaceless style”) is for women only. Either way, it’s a welcoming environment where even the most demure mother can learn a few handy judo pins.
Don’t dress like that!
Looking back, aren’t you glad Mom put the kibosh on some of your more outlandish youthful fashion choices? There’s a time and a place for skimpy clothing, and it’s every other Saturday at 331 Club (331 13th Ave. N.E. 612-331-1746). That’s when Le Cirque Rouge de Gus puts on its celebrated burlesque and cabaret show, featuring creatively staged musical numbers, off-color comedy and, of course, tasteful striptease acts. The show might not be suited for everybody’s mother, but open-minded moms should find plenty to love about a good, old-fashioned flesh show.
Don’t make a mess!
She washed your clothes. She picked up your toys. Heck, in your earliest days, she cleaned up after any number of your most intimate bodily functions. It’s high time Mom got the chance to get down and dirty. Book a trip to Splatball Inc. (2412 University Ave. S.E. 612-378-0385), the Twin Cities’ only indoor/outdoor paintball course (and, by some accounts, one of the oldest such facilities in the world). Once she’s fully armed and strapped into her goggles and safety gear, Mom should be ready to exact sweet revenge for all of those childhood infractions. Do your best to stay out of her sights, but think twice before returning fire. Odds are that she knows more than a few secrets that you’d prefer to keep buried.
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